50/50 shared parenting would seem like a natural thing to do after a separation. Right? Sadly not. Too many people don’t agree and the other parent is left fighting for contact. If that is your situation then this short blog post contains links that might help you secure 50/50 shared parenting.
Thankfully attitudes are shifting. Increasingly children are being given the right to both their parents after separation and divorce. Sadly though legal frameworks in many many countries are not being updated and that means the legal battle just to see our children has to be fought.
Your right to parent your children
Remember, when a relationship fails we leave our partner. We do not stop being a parent and for those of us, who want to stay in our children’s lives anything more – or less – than 50% is just abhorrently wrong.
The damage that not making 50/50 shared parenting the norm is brutal. It costs money. It costs time. It hurts children. It ruins businesses. It leads to suicide for many heartbroken parents.
50/50 shared parenting is not just about Dads
Across the World, it is Dads who are most commonly fighting for 50/50 shared parenting. It is important though to realise that some Mums are too.
50/50 shared parenting is not a gender issue. It is about children’s rights. It is about equal access to both parents being the accepted norm not something you have to argue for.
Of course, there will be situations where it logistically does not make sense. There will be other families where there are well-being concerns. The issue is though that these should become apparent in an explanation for not having shared care between parents.
Instead, these and many other convenient lies and accusations are thrown around to stop equal access to our children. The money it costs for such cases is then horrific. Court costs, the cost to public services, medical bills, mental health and counselling costs, the list goes on.
Make 50/50 shared parenting the norm
Wherever possible good people need to stand up for the rights of parents and children to maintain as close to a normal relationship as possible after a divorce or separation. People that prevent this should be judged in the same way that we now frown upon drink driving, racial inequality and gender inequality and so many issues which have become socially unacceptable.
50/50 Shared Parenting Reports, Articles and Studies
Here are a number of reports and documents that I researched when fighting my case for equal access to my children in the UK. The reports are from around the World and I hope they support your in your fight for 50/50 shared parenting care of your children.
- Shared Physical Custody – Nielsen Analyses 40 Studies
- Custody Minefield: (UK) Shared Living Arrangements Case Law Library
- Equal Parenting and the Quality of Parent-Child Attachments
- After divorce, shared parenting is best for children’s health and development
- Is sharing residency better for children’s mental health?
- Even for toddlers, joint custody is the best option
- Early child development research shows importance of sustaining father-baby relationships after divorce and separation.
- Thousands misusing abuse orders to get legal aid, says parenting charity
- Benefits of shared parenting legislation in Europe (Peter Tromp, October 2013) >> Download Report Here
- Bauserman 2002: Child Adjustment In Joint-custody Versus Sole-custody Arrangement: A Meta Analytic Review
- Dfes 2003: The Impact Of Paternal Involvement In Children’s Eduction
- 2016: Stemming The Tide Of Misinformation: International Consensus On Shared Parenting And Overnighting
- 2008 Dscf: The Impact Of Parental Involvement In Children’s Education
- Tcm 2010: Research Supporting Shared Care
- Bergtrom Et Al 2014: Mental Health In Swedish Children Living In Joint Physical Custody And Their Parents’ Life Satisfaction: A Cross-sectional Study
- Uea 2005: Shared Caring: Bringing Fathers Into The Frame
- Kruk 2008: Child Custody, Access And Parental Responsibility: The Search For A Just And Equitable Standard
- Unicef 2007: An Overview Of Child Well-being In Rich Countries
- Warshak 2014: Social Science And Parenting Plans For Young Children: A Consensus Report
- Wake Forest University 2010: Shared Parenting: A Review Of The Supporting Research
- Fatherhood Institute 2010: Fathers’ Impact On Their Children’s Learning And Achievement
- Professor Parkinson 2012: Reforming The Children Act 1989: Learning From The Australian Experience
- Children’s Society 2010: A Good Childhood: Searching For Values In A Competitive Age
- Fabricius Et Al 2011: Parenting Time, Parent Conflict, Parent-child Relationships, And Children’s Physical Health